Between Thanksgiving and New Year’s, Americans reportedly discard 25 percent more trash than usual. Consider these environment-friendly choices and you can not only reduce waste but also help keep our world a little cleaner during Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and other holidays.

Holiday Decor

1) Opt for real trees from a local, sustainable tree farm. Or consider a potted tree that you can plant when the ground thaws in the spring.

2) Dispose of your tree by finding a holiday-tree recycling initiative near you. Or if your community offers the service, put it out for curbside pickup and composting.

3) Choose energy-efficient LED holiday lights for decorating. They use at least 75 percent less energy than incandescent bulbs, plus they last many seasons longer. Put your lights on a timer to save even more energy. Old light strings can be recycled thanks to companies such as HolidayLEDs.com.

Gifts

4) Think outside the store: Give homemade crafts or foods, educational gifts, or experiences instead of more stuff. And when you do buy gifts, opt for durable, recyclable, energy-efficient ones or items made from natural products.

5) Shipping a gift? Save and reuse packing material.

6) Avoid gag gifts and donate unwanted gifts to charity. A recent survey found that 53 percent of Americans receive an unwanted gift during the holidays — and while more than half will return or regift them, 12 percent throw unwelcome presents straight into the trash.

7) Rethink the gift wrap. It’s said that up to half of the paper Americans consume is used to wrap and decorate products. Cut down on this by reusing gift bags, wrapping paper, and tissue paper.

Or consider other creative options, such as old maps, posters, calendars, newspaper comics, or fabric. You could also wrap the present in another gift, such as a scarf, dish towel, or cloth napkin.

Save and reuse old ribbon, and consider alternatives such as string and yarn. (Try furoshiki — a traditional Japanese method — to make your holiday more eco-friendly!)

All the Trimmings

8) Send holiday wishes in recycled cards and envelopes. Americans send more than a billion holiday cards a year. Avoid cards and wrapping paper with plastic coatings or nonpaper additives; though pretty, these materials are not recyclable.

9) Or make your own cards and gift tags out of last year’s cards and the wrapping paper you saved.

10) Remove your name from the mailing lists of mail-order catalogs you no longer wish to receive.

11) Offer rechargeable batteries and a charger if you’re giving a gift that requires batteries. Americans throw away an uncountable number of disposable batteries annually — billions, according to the Environmental Protection Agency.

Holiday Meals

12) Forgo food waste with some thoughtful planning. In 2019, more than 66 million tons of food was wasted in the United States — 40 percent of which came from households. Count your guests, plan menus, and buy only what you need. And invest in some sustainable food storage for all those tasty leftovers.

13) Bring out the real plates and flatware for special meals instead of paper plates and single-use plastic utensils. It’s a special time! And invite family, kids, and even guests who want to help to join together and lend a hand with washing the dishes. It’s all in the holiday spirit.

The post 13 Tips to Make the Holidays More Eco-Friendly appeared first on Experience Life.

The last couple months of the year are often rife with interruptions to our regular routines: social gatherings, holiday parties, indulgent food and drink — they can all distract us from our healthy habits. Yet sticking with a few key habits can give us the best chance of staying on course.

Here, a few Life Time experts share some of the top not-so-secret secrets for maintaining your health and feeling good throughout this more challenging time of the year.

1. Move your body in some way every day.

Movement is transformative for health in so many ways, but particularly this time of year when stress is high and germs are rampant. If we want our immune system and metabolism running well, we need exercise to keep them functioning at their best.

Before your calendar fills up, block time in there for your workouts, advises Julie Brown, senior lead general at Life Time in St. Louis Park, Minn. “Treat your workouts like you would an important meeting or appointment — schedule them and stick to it,” she says. “If you could use additional accountability, schedule a weekly session with a Dynamic Personal Trainer to ensure you’re staying on track to maintain your goals into the New Year.”

If there are days when scheduling your workout just isn’t going to happen, simply try to move in whatever ways you can, emphasizes Samantha McKinney, RD, CPT, national program manager for nutrition, metabolism, and weight loss at Life Time. “Even if your regular workout routine slips, do something every day to move — a 15-minute workout or a short walk is better than nothing.” (Try this: “4 Workouts You Can Do in 30 Minutes or Less.”)

2. Aim for getting 30 grams of protein at every meal.

While consuming a minimum of 30 grams of protein per meal is not a recommendation that’s unique to this time of the year, it does become especially important because of the food culture that surrounds the holidays.

“Aiming for this 30-grams-of-protein minimum per meal during a time when you’re surrounded by indulgences can help minimize cravings and help you naturally portion control since protein is so satiating,” says McKinney. “I’m all about participating in meaningful indulgences — but doing so without getting enough protein can lead to a lot of issues!”

McKinney shares that a quick and easy way to do this is to incorporate a daily protein shake that features either Life Time Whey+ or Vegan+ All-in-One protein powder. “Both protein powder choices provide 30 grams of protein plus vitamins, minerals, and digestive support, and are easy to mix with liquid, making them convenient for use,” she says. “It’s an easy way to boost protein and nutrients without extra planning and meal prep.”

Brown also recommends doing your best to eat a protein-rich snack one or two hours before any parties or gatherings where you know sweets or other foods you don’t want to eat too much of will be present. This will help you go into the event already feeling satiated.

3. Consider doing the D.TOX program — yes, right now.

The Life Time D.TOX program is a complimentary 14-day nutritional reset for Life Time members. You’ll focus on eating whole foods and eliminating common sources of inflammatory foods and food sensitivities.

While some may question why they’d do a program that has them giving up things like alcohol and added sugar this time of year, McKinney stresses that it is a short-term reset, and that many find the holiday season to be a great time to try this program.

“There’s never a perfect time to do a detox, but if you can carve out a two-week timeframe between holiday celebrations where you can give it an honest effort, it’s well worth it,” says McKinney. “It makes the holidays more enjoyable since the approach is designed to support increased energy, optimal sleep, good digestion, a clearer complexion, and more.”

4. Stay hydrated — and consider embracing electrolyte-based mocktails.

Good hydration is essential to good health, and during a time of the year when we’re busier, the temperature is cooler, and alcoholic drinks often become more plentiful, it’s common to let water intake slip.

“Our bodies need to be hydrated every day,” reminds Brown. “Therefore, you want to ensure the beverages that you choose pack maximum impact, meaning that in addition to plain water, you may benefit from also supplementing with electrolytes. One of my favorite hydration hacks is using our LTH Hydrate electrolytes. Having one serving a day is a surefire way to help keep yourself feeling your best. It tastes awesome on its own and can also make a great mocktail to fake out even the most savvy guests and serve as a healthy alternative to alcohol-containing party drinks.” (Try it: “2 Refreshing Electrolyte Mocktail Recipes.”)

Brown also loves the “hack” of always bringing a water with you. “Bring your favorite water bottle in the car so you can hydrate while you ride to a holiday gathering, and keep it iced up so that it tastes refreshing and is ready to drink on your post-party ride home as well,” suggests Brown.

5. Enlist the support of your breath.

Long, deep breaths can activate your parasympathetic (rest-and-digest) nervous system and help relax your body and calm your mind. This makes mindful breathing a useful tool for times of stress and busyness — plus, it’s free and can be done anywhere.

“During the busiest time of the year, it may be challenging to make space for some of the activities you usually enjoy and that bring levity or calm to your life,” says Brown. “Even in the most jam-packed day, I’d urge you to take five to 10 minutes prior to bedtime to focus on deep breathing. Box breathing can be just what you need to recenter your body and mind as you transition into rest.”

To practice box breathing: Breathe in for a count of four. Hold your inhale for a count of four. Exhale for a count of four. Hold for a count of four. Repeat.

“If you’re short on time, do just four to five rounds of this type of breathing,” suggests Brown. “That alone can take the edge off any time of the day.”

Looking for more guidance? Life Time offers breath-centered meditations you can follow in the Life Time app, with some that can be done in as little as three minutes.

6. Remember to recover.

During this season of giving and go-go-go, don’t neglect the body that’s powering you through your days. “This is a time to take care of your health,” says Brown. “Don’t plan to go hard every day; instead, intentionally schedule one to two days of active recovery each week. You may consider including Normatec compression therapy or a regular 25-minute Dynamic Stretch session to help you recover as well.”

Many Life Time athletic country clubs also feature amenities to aid your recovery such as the sauna, steam room, whirlpool, and cold plunge, which can provide benefits in as little as a few minutes.

The post 6 “Secrets” for Maintaining Good Health During the Holiday Season appeared first on Experience Life.

The post 22 Ways to Give Back This Holiday Season appeared first on Experience Life.

Explore this recipe collection:

• Stuffed Acorn Squash With Creamy Tahini Dressing
• Mushroom Bourguignon With Creamy Polenta
• Butternut Squash Risotto With Miso Butter Beans and Greens
• Mushroom-Walnut Lasagna

What image comes to mind when you think of a holiday celebration? For me, it’s the vision of my family gathered around a glorious meal to which everyone has contributed. Most often, the main event is an animal protein: turkey, ham, prime rib … you get the point. Sure, there are always veggies, but they’re often relegated to the periphery of our plates — practically an afterthought.

This year, I’m offering an alternative to the traditional meat-centric feasts — with vegetarian entrées worthy of center stage.

Whether you’re a plant-based eater, a flexitarian looking to diversify your holiday menu, or an omnivore aiming to make your vegetarian family members feel included at the table, I hope these recipes inspire and empower you to introduce vegetarian entrées to your holiday feasts.

Stuffed Acorn Squash With Creamy Tahini Dressing

Makes 6 servings  •  Prep time 15 minutes  •  Cook time 2 hours

• Ingredients
• Directions

Ingredients

Squash

• 3 tbs. extra-virgin olive oil
• 2 large yellow onions, thinly sliced
• 1 tsp. sea salt, divided
• ¾ cup long grain brown rice, rinsed
• ¾ cup brown lentils, rinsed
• 8 leaves fresh sage, about 2 tbs.
• 8 sprigs fresh thyme
• 3 cups vegetable broth
• 3 medium acorn squash
• 1 tsp. avocado oil
• ¼ tsp. freshly ground black pepper
• ½ cup roasted pistachios

Dressing

• 1 clove garlic, minced
• ¼ cup tahini
• 2 tbs. extra-virgin olive oil
• 2 tbs. lemon juice
• 2 tbs. warm water
• Sea salt, to taste
• Freshly ground black pepper, to taste

Directions

1. Preheat a large saucepan with the 3 table­spoons of olive oil over medium-low heat. Add the onions and a pinch of the salt and cook, stirring occasionally, until the onions are deeply caramelized, about 60 minutes.
2. While the onions are cooking, soak the rice and lentils in warm water. Finely chop the sage, and remove the thyme leaves from their stems.
3. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
4. Once the onions are caramelized, remove half of them and set aside. Add the sage and thyme leaves to the saucepan, and cook until fragrant, about one minute.
5. Strain the lentils and rice, and add them to the saucepan with the vegetable broth and ½ teaspoon of the salt. Increase the heat to high and bring to a boil, then reduce the heat to a simmer and cover. Cook until the liquid is absorbed and the lentils and rice are cooked through, about 45 minutes.
6. While the lentils and rice are cooking, halve and seed the squash. Lightly coat the squash with the avocado oil, and season with the remaining salt and the black pepper. Place cut-side up on a baking sheet and bake until the squash is tender, about 40 minutes.
7. Once the lentils and squash are done, ­distribute the filling into the cooked squash and top with the reserved caramelized onions.
8. Return to the oven for another five minutes.
9. While the stuffed squash is in the oven, prepare the tahini dressing by whisking the ingredients in a small bowl until smooth.
10. To serve, drizzle the squash with the tahini dressing and garnish with the pistachios.

Mushroom Bourguignon With Creamy Polenta

Makes 6 servings  •  Prep time 15 minutes  •  Cook time 1 hour

• Ingredients
• Directions

Ingredients

Polenta

• 4 cups water
• ½ tsp. sea salt
• 1 cup polenta
• 2 tbs. salted butter

Mushroom Stew

• 16 oz. mixed mushrooms of choice, sliced
• 1 tbs. avocado oil
• 1 tsp. sea salt, divided
• ¼ tsp. freshly ground black pepper
• 2 tbs. salted butter
• 1 large yellow onion, diced
• 3 medium carrots, roughly chopped
• 2 tbs. tomato paste
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 2 tbs. cornstarch
• 1 cup dry red wine
• 4 sprigs fresh thyme
• 2 cups pearl onions, ends trimmed and peeled
• 1 cup vegetable broth, plus more as needed
• 1 tbs. coconut aminos, tamari, or soy sauce
• ½ tsp. smoked paprika
• ½ cup chopped flat-leaf parsley, to garnish

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F.
2. Bring the water and salt to a boil. Slowly whisk in the polenta, then cover the pot and reduce the heat to low. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the polenta is creamy and tender, about 30 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in the butter, then cover to keep warm.
3. While the polenta is cooking, toss the mushrooms with the avocado oil, ½ teaspoon of the salt, and the pepper.
4. Spread the mushrooms in a single layer on a rimmed baking sheet, and bake until deeply browned, about 15 to 18 minutes.
5. Meanwhile, add the butter to a large Dutch oven over medium heat. Add the yellow onion, carrots, and remaining ½ teaspoon of salt, and cook until the vegetables are tender and begin to brown, about 12 to 15 minutes.
6. Push the carrots and onion aside, and add the tomato paste to the center of the pan. Cook, stirring frequently, until caramelized and darkened in color, about two to three minutes.
7. Stir in the garlic and cook until fragrant, about one minute more.
8. Add the mushrooms and cornstarch, and stir until the vegetables are evenly coated.
9. Add the wine, scraping the bottom of the pot to deglaze any brown bits, and cook until the wine is halved in volume, about three minutes.
10. Add the thyme, pearl onions, vegetable broth, coconut aminos, and paprika. Adjust the heat as needed to maintain a steady simmer, cover, and cook for 15 minutes or until all the vegetables are tender and the liquid has thickened.
11. Add a splash of vegetable broth to thin the stew if desired.
12. Pluck out the thyme sprigs and discard.
13. Serve the stew over the creamy polenta, garnished with the fresh parsley.

Butternut Squash Risotto With Miso Butter Beans and Greens

Makes 8 servings  •  Prep time 20 minutes  •  Cook time 50 minutes

• Ingredients
• Directions

Ingredients

Risotto

• 6 cups vegetable broth
• 4 tbs. salted butter, divided
• 1 medium yellow onion, diced
• 1 lb. butternut squash, peeled, seeded, and chopped
• ½ tsp. sea salt
• ¼ tsp. freshly ground black pepper
• 2 cups arborio rice
• 2 oz. Gruyère cheese, grated
• 4 oz. Parmesan cheese, grated
• Shaved Parmesan, to garnish

Miso Butter Beans and Greens

• 2 bunches Swiss chard
• 2 tbs. white miso paste
• ¼ cup warm water
• 1 tbs. extra-virgin olive oil
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 2 15-oz. cans butter beans, drained and rinsed
• 1 tsp. apple-cider vinegar
• ½ tsp. sea salt

Directions

1. Heat the vegetable broth on the stove over medium heat.
2. Place a heavy-bottomed pot or Dutch oven over medium heat and add 3 tablespoons of the butter.
3. Add the onion and cook until tender and translucent, about six to seven minutes. Add the squash, salt, and pepper, and cook until softened, about six to eight minutes more.
4. Add the rice and stir to coat the grains in butter.
5. Add a ladle of hot broth and cook, stirring frequently, until the liquid is fully absorbed. Repeat until all the broth is absorbed and the rice is cooked yet firm in the center, about 25 minutes.
6. Remove from heat, stir in the remaining butter and grated cheeses, and cover to keep warm.
7. Separate the stems from the chard leaves and chop the stems into small pieces. Roughly chop the leaves. Whisk together the miso paste and warm water in a small bowl until smooth.
8. Preheat a large skillet over medium heat, then add the olive oil.
9. Pour in the ­miso-paste mixture and bring to a simmer.
10. Add the garlic and stir, cooking until fragrant, about one minute.
11. Add the chard stems and cook until softened, about three to four minutes more.
12. Add the chard leaves and beans, and cook about two to three minutes, until the leaves are wilted and the beans are warmed through.
13. Remove from heat and stir in the vinegar and salt.
14. Serve the risotto topped with the beans and greens, and garnish with the shaved Parmesan.

Mushroom-Walnut Lasagna

Makes 8 servings  •  Prep time 20 minutes  •  Cook time 1 hour 30 minutes, plus 20 minutes to cool

• Ingredients
• Directions

Ingredients

Sauce

• 4 cloves garlic, chopped
• 1 medium carrot, chopped
• 1 stalk celery, chopped
• ½ large yellow onion, chopped
• 8 oz. cremini mushrooms, roughly chopped
• 1 cup walnuts
• 3 tbs. extra-virgin olive oil
• 2 tbs. tomato paste
• 1½ tsp. sea salt
• 1 tsp. dried basil
• 1 tsp. dried oregano
• ¼ tsp. red-pepper flakes
• ¼ cup cabernet sauvignon
• 1 28-oz. can crushed tomatoes

Ricotta

• 2 large eggs
• 16 oz. ricotta
• 1 tsp. Italian seasoning
• ½ tsp. sea salt

Assembly

• ½ lb. lasagna noodles
• 16 oz. fresh mozzarella cheese, sliced
• 3 oz. Parmesan cheese, grated
• ½ cup chopped fresh parsley (optional)

Directions

Prepare the sauce:

1. Add garlic, carrot, celery, and onion to a food processor or blender, and pulse until finely chopped but not mushy.
2. Transfer the mixture to a bowl and set aside. Add the mushrooms and walnuts to the food processor and pulse until roughly crumbled.
3. Preheat a large skillet over medium heat and add the olive oil. Add the onion and carrot mixture and cook until the vegetables are tender, about four to five minutes. Push the vegetables aside and add the tomato paste to the center of the skillet. Cook until caramelized and darkened in color, about two to three minutes.
4. Add the salt, basil, oregano, and red-pepper flakes, and cook until fragrant, about one minute. Add the mushroom mixture and cook until lightly browned, about five to six minutes more.
5. Add the wine and allow it to reduce for about two to three minutes. Add the crushed tomatoes, bring the mixture to a steady simmer, and allow it to simmer for 10 minutes.

Prepare the remaining lasagna components:

1. Meanwhile, preheat the oven to 400 degrees F and prepare the remaining lasagna components.
2. Whisks the eggs in a mixing bowl until no white streaks remain.
3. Add the ricotta, Italian seasoning, and the remaining ½ teaspoon of salt, and mix until combined. Cook the lasagna noodles according to package instructions.
4. In a 9-x-13-inch baking dish, add a thin layer of the sauce. Next, add a layer of lasagna noodles, a generous layer of sauce, a layer of the ricotta mixture, a few slices of fresh mozzarella, and a generous sprinkle of Parmesan. Repeat this order of layering until all the components are used, finishing with a layer of cheese on top.
5. Cover the dish with foil and bake for 45 minutes.
6. After 45 minutes, uncover and turn the oven to broil. Broil on high for three to four minutes, or until the top layer of cheese is bubbly and browned in some spots.
7. Allow to cool for at least 20 minutes before serving. Garnish with fresh parsley if desired.

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This article originally appeared as the “The Plantiful Holiday” in the November/December 2024 issue of Experience Life. Photography: Terry Brennan; Food Stylist: Betsy Nelson.

The post 4 Hearty Plant-Forward Recipes for the Holidays appeared first on Experience Life.

I have always loved the idea of the winter holidays. Each year, I look forward to driving through the misty Northern California countryside to cut down a tree at the farm I visited as a child. I cherish lighting the ornate brass menorah my brother-in-law gave me when he joined our family. And I eagerly await the unwrapping extravaganza in my living room on Christmas morning.

But truth be told, sometimes I realize I’m not enjoying the holidays very much.

In reality, I spend much of the season anxiously making to-do lists, jostling for parking spaces, and losing sleep worrying about whether everyone had a good time during the festivities. By the time New Year’s comes around, I’m exhausted and depleted — and at times I find myself vowing “never again.”

Most of my unhappiness comes from trying to do too much in too little time, leaving no mental space to look around and think, How wonderful.

Worse, by placing so much emphasis on providing a just-right holiday experience, I put pressure on family and friends, transferring my overwrought expectations and knife-edge emotions to the very people I’m hoping to please.

A few years ago, as my family frantically cleaned bathrooms and rolled out cookie dough before our annual Christmas-carol sing-along, my older daughter waved a sponge in the air and called out, “This is supposed to be fun?!”

And on Christmas Eve, as I headed off to wrap presents, I overheard my younger daughter mournfully remarking to her sister that this was the third year in a row they’d watched How the Grinch Stole Christmas without me. She confided that she wished I’d hang out with them and just leave the presents in bags.

But even with her comment ringing in my ears and tears welling in my eyes, I couldn’t leave those gifts unwrapped.

The Problem With Perfect

“Often, what’s going on underneath perfectionism is a desire for control,” says Kristine Oller, a Los Angeles–based coach who specializes in guiding individuals and groups through change. “With the holidays, this can manifest as a desire to recapture something you had at some point in the past. But the thing about memories is they’re our own little edited movies. When we try to make an experience turn out a certain way, we set ourselves up for disappointment.”

“With the holidays, this can manifest as a desire to recapture something you had at some point in the past. But the thing about memories is they’re our own little edited movies. When we try to make an experience turn out a certain way, we set ourselves up for disappointment.”

Fear of judgment is another dynamic that’s at play for many of us. “Maybe we’re afraid we’ll seem self-indulgent and lazy if we don’t drive and push ourselves,” suggests Kristin Neff, PhD, associate professor of educational psychology at the University of Texas at Austin and author of Self-Compassion.

These joy-killing forces don’t just affect the makers of holiday feasts. Those who are expected to show up for all the planned services, performances, and gift exchanges face similarly high expectations to be appreciative and happy.

It is possible, though, to transform holiday stress. These expert tips can help us reframe our thinking and make wiser choices so we can approach this busy time of year with more ease and enjoyment.

5 Expert Tips to Transform Holiday Stress

1) Rethink Your Priorities

As you make your lists, take a moment to look at everything you’re planning — and then do a reality check on what it’s going to take to accomplish it all.

“Your perspective will start to change, and you’ll see what you’re doing to yourself,” says productivity expert David Allen, author of Getting Things Done. “It becomes much easier to say no once you see everything you’ve said yes to.”

As you narrow your list to priorities you can realistically manage, Allen suggests making a second list: what you and others would like to get out of experiences. “No. 1 on the list might be fun, for example. Make a deal with your family and friends that if you’re not having fun, you’ll blow the whistle and rethink what you’re doing.” (For more details on Allen’s proven, five-step process, see “5 Steps to Getting Things Done.”)

2) Learn to Let Go

When we’re shooting for perfection, everything seems to have equal weight, explains Oller. “But if you don’t want to exhaust yourself, you have to ask yourself which things you can let go of.”

This isn’t easy. When you turn down an invitation or announce that this year’s pies are going to be store-bought, someone’s going to be unhappy, and their disappointment can be hard to tolerate.

“It can feel almost unbearable, at least in that moment,” Oller notes. “And when you don’t want to feel those feelings, you’ll pull yourself in every direction trying to control everything so that everyone is happy.”

A healthier alternative is to gradually test and strengthen your tolerance for disappointing — or at least not pleasing — others. Otherwise, you’re trading momentary comfort for lasting burnout.

3) Replace Self-Judgment With Self-Compassion

Often, our holiday stress comes down to a concern about what other people think or expect of us. “When we are afraid of being judged, it’s usually because we are harsh judges — of others and particularly of ourselves,” says Oller.

One way to change your perspective is to imagine a friend in your situation, suggests Neff. Treat yourself with the same nonjudgmental kindness you would offer that person.

“Ask yourself, If my friend were freaking out about Thanksgiving dinner, what would I say? You wouldn’t say, ‘You’ll never get it right!’ or ‘It’s going to be a failure!’ You would naturally and instinctually be warm, supportive, and reassuring.

“You’ve already got these skills, which you’ve developed to support those you care about,” Neff continues. “Self-compassion is about giving yourself permission to use those skills for yourself.”

4) Ask for Help

Whether or not your family and friends share your feelings about the holidays, there’s no question that stress can be contagious, says Allen. “Your kids or your partner may be thinking, I hope you don’t get stressed out like you did last year — and then they’ll get nervous too.”

Allen recommends open and clear communication. Get everyone involved in thinking about the ideal holiday experience, what’s most and least important, and how each person can chip in.

“You can say, ‘Hey, guys, I’d love to have as fun a holiday as possible. Here’s my list of what I’d love to create, but I don’t want to run the show by myself. What’s important to you and how would you like to be involved?’” Make it a group effort.

5) Taking the Advice to Heart

For me, relaxing during the holidays now involves loosening my attachment to an idealized past. For example, I’ve always bought everyone in the family new pajamas and slippers to wear on Christmas Eve, but it’s no longer easy to find something they’ll wear.

“Try thinking about what was so special about that experience,” Oller suggests. “You’ll realize it was because it felt cozy and allowed everyone to be silly.”

She’s absolutely right. It was never about the PJs. It was about the experience.

So, now we aim to chill out more, be cozy and silly, and laugh a lot. And as long as that happens, it will be a good holiday.

This article has been updated. It originally appeared in the December 2018 issue of Experience Life.

The post The Good-Enough Holiday appeared first on Experience Life.

The fact that many of us genuinely do not need more stuff is a luxury. It also allows us to support others through charitable donations. Donating in someone’s name to a cause they care about shows that you know and respect their values. For example, instead of a book for the writers and readers in your life, you could donate to PEN International, an organization that aids persecuted writers and promotes literature and free expression.

Your favorite healthcare provider might appreciate a donation to Doctors Without Borders, an independent group of medical volunteers that provides services in conflict and disaster zones and other areas of need in the world. And pretty much anyone can appreciate a chance to support the health of families around the world through a donation to The Hunger Project. Other thoughtful possibilities: Make the animal lover in your life into a “chimp guardian” with a donation to the Jane Goodall Institute. Or adopt a cheetah, sloth, vampire bat, or bison through the World Wildlife Fund. You could also support an orphaned elephant, rhinoceros, or giraffe at the Sheldrick Wildlife Trust. Or keep it local and donate in your loved one’s name to an animal rescue or shelter in their community.

Lovers of the outdoors would probably appreciate a donation to The Nature Conservancy or a similar group. Or have a tree planted in someone’s name through the Arbor Day Foundation or A Living Tribute.

At a time of the year when many of us are enjoying the chance to gather with loved ones, it can feel good to help others be with their families. One way is by donating airline miles, credit card points, or cash to an organization called Miles4Migrants, which helps reunite families that have been separated.

In the same spirit of helping others, local homeless shelters and kitchens always need financial and material support. Check their websites to see what’s on their holiday wish lists. You can also donate time: Serving food or washing dishes can be a great way to get to know your neighbors during the holidays or spend time with family.

Finally, if none of this feels quite right — or if you’ve given it all before — consider giving the gift of your undivided attention. Offer to cook a dinner for your sibling or your best friend, or plan a day trip for the two of you. Jay suggests that parents plan a whole day with each of their kids, doing whatever the kid wants to do.

She does something similar with her friends at the holidays. “We’ve gotten to the point where, instead of [exchanging] gifts, we go to lunch or coffee. It’s such a great experience — it’s a busy time of year and we’re making time for each other. Our gift to each other is our presence rather than presents.”

For more thoughtful presents that don’t add to life’s clutter, see “Minimalist Gift Ideas” from which this article was excerpted.

The post Charitable Gift Ideas for Your Loved Ones appeared first on Experience Life.

Once the calendar flips to December, it seems like there are obligations nearly every day through the end of the year — at least for me. The month is filled with festive and joyful things (holiday events! family gatherings! celebrations!) and while I love attending and participating, I often find myself exhausted from all the running around.

Over time, I’ve learned that taking a few moments of quiet during my days helps me to recharge and feel better equipped to enjoy all that the season brings. Making those moments of downtime actually happen, though? I have to be intentional about planning for them in my schedule or they may get missed.

Managing our energy and time can be tricky this time of year, which is why many productivity, life coaching, and mental health experts agree that finding even small ways to nurture a bit of calm can make a difference in our well-being.

“I encourage people to look at how we benefit from nonjudgmentally accepting how our season unfolds for us,” says Barbara Powell, MA, NBC-HWC, holistic coach with Life Time Mind. “Some may be with or without family; conversations may be joy-filled or uncomfortable; there may be lots on our calendar or not much at all; and we may experience displays of love or times of grief.

“One of my favorite phrases to remember is, ‘This is it,’” Powell continues. “As in, this is life, we are here, and life comes with all kinds of experiences: busyness, chaotic events, family and friends, and so on. I love to remind my clients to pay attention to their minds and bodies during heightened seasons so they can pick up on when they might need a simple reset. This is how we regulate our nervous system.”

Powell shares five simple ways to reset and experience a sense of calm, no matter what the season holds for you.

1. Savor your senses.

“Use your senses as a way to experience delight in the unfolding of the season,” says Powell. “Linger on the tastes, smells, sights, sensations, and sounds around you. Let yourself be immersed in the moment you’re in without the distraction of devices. These moments are fleeting, after all!”

2. Notice the good.

“Each day, my partner and I share three good things at the end of our day,” explains Powell. “This gives a positive ending to whatever kind of day we had. When we purposefully look for the good — a compliment, a blossoming friendship, a feeling, etc. — we tend to see more of it in the days to follow.”

3. Move your body.

“Better yet, move with others!” suggests Powell. “Our nervous systems regulate and react to each other’s energy and tend to feel better when we’re in good company. Take a yoga class, go for a group run, or attend a GTX class over the lunch hour with colleagues. The connection between movement and mental health is powerful.”

4. Slow down.

“We all need different amounts of quiet, space, and alone time, so it’s important to try to meet your personal needs,” says Powell. “Allowing ourselves to be quiet amid a busy season can give us the exhale we just might need. Meditation or journaling are great places to start.” (Learn more: “How Do I Rest — Really?”)

5. Experience childlike joy.

“What did you love to do as a kid — during the holidays or otherwise?” poses Powell. “Was there a favorite toy or experience you had? Bring that back to life and allow yourself the joy of play! We are never too old to still love what we did in childhood.”

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1) Casual gatherings offset loneliness.

The instinct to gather is “fundamental to who we are as social animals, a practice etched into our very being,” says David Davies, PhD. “We get together to reaffirm our connections with each other.”

These connections matter. Recent studies have shown that loneliness can be as detrimental to health as smoking. And when we’re lonely, our negative thoughts can become self-reinforcing. Meanwhile, time in the company of others can interrupt that cycle. (Learn more about how to offset loneliness at “Why Social Bonds Are So Important for Our Health.”)

2) Community is good for our partner relationships.

Mia Birdsong points out that humans tend to organize into groups — friends, family, neighbors, faith communities — not just into pairs. “Two people are not the village. In a context where most of us aren’t living with extended family, gathering gives us an opportunity to be in the village,” she says. And enjoying ourselves in community can take some of the pressure off our partnerships to fulfill all our social needs.

3) We’re reminded that food is more than just fuel.

Many gatherings center on rituals that acknowledge our interdependence. “Often it’s around cooking and eating,” Davies observes. “Traditionally, the idea of transforming wild nature into something we eat together has an aspect of communion. When we share a meal, we nourish each other.”

4) We take time to appreciate what we have.

Yia Vang, a Minneapolis chef who immigrated to the United States with his Hmong family when he was a young child, recalls large gatherings around makeshift grills in the Thai refugee camp where he was born. Those gatherings were built upon relationships forged in hardship yet grounded in gratitude. “It was an acknowledgment that we might not have had everything in the world, but we had each other,” he says.

Today, Vang creates gatherings at his restaurant Union Hmong Kitchen. They’re centered on a communal table where friends share a meal, a celebration of the enduring beauty of people connecting over food. “You can see the joy in their eyes,” he says. “Innately, our souls need each other.”

Great gatherings don’t usually happen by chance — they’re created with care. For tips to make holiday get-togethers both meaningful and fun, see “5 Rules for Gathering” from which this article was excerpted.

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Parties and presents, dining and drinks: The holiday season can bring an abundance of celebration — and drinking is often a big part of those festivities. But as experts continue to explore the benefits and risks of drinking alcohol, more people are choosing to reduce how much they drink or abstain from drinking altogether.

“Alcohol is a toxin that our body has to metabolize, chemically convert, and excrete,” explains Paul Kriegler, RD, CPT, director of nutritional products at Life Time. “This is a process that disrupts our normal metabolism and sleep, as well as increases certain nutrient requirements. It can also negatively impact your mood, concentration, and general mental wellness. Cutting back on alcohol is sure to help most people feel and function better, even if they don’t go totally dry.”

Whatever your reasoning, limiting your alcohol consumption during the holidays can be a challenge — especially when gatherings often center on traditional holiday drinks like spiked eggnog or cider and sparkling wine. Kriegler offers the following tips for those looking to cut back.

1. Define what “cutting back” means to you.

Choose a tangible goal for how you will approach drinking at holiday gatherings this year. Are you trying to abstain completely? Do you want to stick to one or two drinks per holiday weekend? No matter how you outline it, make sure your goal is measurable, reasonable, and achievable.

2. Frame it as an experiment.

Rather than letting it feel like a high-pressure commitment, consider thinking of limiting your intake like this: I wonder what will happen if I don’t drink alcohol at this party? or I wonder how I’ll feel tomorrow if I only have one drink tonight?

3. Explore nonalcoholic beverages.

There are a wide variety of nonalcoholic beers, liquor alternatives, and mocktails on the market —  and on restaurant and bar menus too) that can give you a way to still feel like you’re participating without drawing attention to the fact that you’re not drinking.

Explore these festive mocktail recipes: “11 Winter Mocktails”

4. Recruit support.

Often one of the biggest barriers to cutting back on consumption is how intertwined alcohol is with socialization. If you feel comfortable, be open with your friends and family about your goals for limiting alcohol. Finding someone to cheer you on can help you stick with your intentions.

For more resources, check out:

5 Tips to Stay Sober

Quitting alcohol may not be easy, but it doesn’t have to be hard forever.

Read More →

The Sober-Curious Movement

Whether you're trying to give up alcohol entirely or trying out a damp January, reexamining your relationship to alcohol can have big benefits for your health.

Read More →

How to Drink Mindfully

What's the right role for alcohol in your life? Experts offer suggestions for creating a healthier, more conscious relationship to imbibing.

Read More →

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Your extended family is, on the whole, colorful and fun. At holiday get-togethers, you enjoy Uncle Bob’s fishing stories, Cousin Kathy’s tales of office intrigue, and Grandpa Tony’s reminiscences. But then there’s that one person — the one who can be counted on to tell the crass joke, launch into a conspiratorial rant about corporate skullduggery, dominate the conversation with a made-for-cable political screed, or otherwise create an atmosphere in which everybody stares at the floor and longs to drop through it.

Your embarrassment seems to freeze you, and your anger makes you want to punch the wall. What to do? The offender belongs to the family. You love them even as you cringe. They’re not about to be disinvited or disinherited. But you are tired of having your holiday tainted by the stress of anticipating and struggling with what this person is going to say or do.

How can you keep your cool during these difficult moments — and how might you talk to your family member about the discomfort they create? Psychologist and coach Amy Johnson, PhD, has some timely advice for handling a difficult relative.

Stress Sources

• Fearing the worst. Anticipatory dread of what Cousin Mike is going to say or do this year can create unrealistic worst-case scenarios and increase your stress, long before the actual scene plays out.
• Checking out. The feelings of embarrassment you’re likely to experience when the problem person starts pushing the family’s buttons are likely to make you “space out” during the episode, freezing your response to the person and to others in the family.
• Anger and blame. Disgust with the difficult family member’s behavior may prompt you to overreact internally or externally or both, judging the person as bad, impossible, or stupid. This can lead to a blowup that turns an uncomfortable situation into something dangerously explosive.
• Force of habit.  Aunt Dolores has been trotting out her cringeworthy views so often at family gatherings that everybody has simply sunk into a sort of dull, stoical suffering mode, enduring her until she tires out. “You tell yourself, This sucks, but at least we know what to expect,” Johnson says.
• Fear of making things worse. “You can easily feel that, as unpleasant as things are when the problem person holds forth, saying anything to him or her — especially when the group is gathered — will only make the person react badly and create worse feelings all around,” she notes.
• Different perceptions. While you may be bothered by Aunt Anna, others may not understand why you are concerned. They may even enjoy Anna’s off-color jokes or agree with her hot takes.
• Anxiety about family alliances. Johnson points out that, however difficult the family member’s behavior may be, they probably have allies within the family. Confronting the problem person runs the risk of alienating them, and creating or deepening family divisions.
• Exaggerated expectations about family. Your family may fall victim to the assumption that because they share genes and a certain amount of history, “normal” families are supposed to get along all the time, and “good” family members ought to sympathize with each other constantly. This, Johnson suggests, can make you extra angry or even prompt despair.
• Exaggerated expectations about the holidays. “The idea that the holidays are supposed to be harmonious all the way through has probably created more awful holiday experiences than anything else,” she says. This expectation can blow the unpleasant moments with the difficult family member out of proportion, making them seem worse and more calamitous than they really are.

Strategies for Success

• Don’t take it personally. “In family settings, people are particularly prone to personalize disagreements and other problems,” says Johnson. Remember that, though the problematic person is really bothering you, they are probably not actually aiming to spoil your holiday.
• Have a friendly talk. Johnson suggests sitting down for a one-to-one talk with the offending individual to address the behavior that’s getting under your skin. “It probably should be in a place and at a time that’s removed from family functions and other family members — don’t gang up on Uncle Bill — and you should do your utmost to make Uncle Bill feel comfortable and appreciated.”

Buttering him up with praise to prepare him for the occasion isn’t the point, however; he’ll see through it. Just project kindness and love in your tone and demeanor.

• Address behavior, not character. In talking with Uncle Bill, the key thing is to let him know that you are bothered by specific behaviors — that you’re not judging his character or opinions: “When you tell those kinds of jokes, I feel uncomfortable,” or “Sometimes you kind of take charge of the conversation in a way that makes it hard for me to express myself.”
• Address only your own discomfort. Rather than condemning a person’s behavior as abstractly bad or wrong, or bringing in the rest of the family as backup (“Everyone else agrees with me”), Johnson suggests you focus entirely on the fact that it makes you uncomfortable.
• Remember their good qualities. No matter how difficult certain aspects of the person’s behavior can be, they come with a full battery of human traits, including some really good ones. Keeping these in mind, she says, can help make your conversation with the person easier on both of you — and keep you calmer if the behavior doesn’t change.
• Accept your powerlessness. “If you have a talk with the person, remember to allow her to make the response that she makes,” Johnson advises. You don’t have the power to make her change her behavior or agree with you. She may be offended, and that, too, is her business. “The important thing for your peace of mind is that you have told your truth. Having done that, let go.”
• Embrace family differences. “There are as many different visions of reality in a family as there are people,” she explains. The fact that not everyone agrees with you about Cousin Sarah’s behavior and what to do about it shouldn’t stop you from stating your truth, but it shouldn’t make you sore at your relatives either.
• Get outside support. “There’s a certain magic in family gatherings that puts you right back into familiar roles — victim, caretaker, the responsible one, whatever — with all the discomfort that may come along with them,” says Johnson. “When dealing with any uncomfortable situation at a family gathering, it’s a good idea to have available, by phone or some other way, a friend who knows and supports the person you are now.”
• Be of service. Ultimately, you have the option of removing yourself from the living room when Cousin Randy gets going — and one of the best ways to do that is to offer to help. Do the dishes, run errands, take care of kids, or help with the cooking.

Amy Johnson, PhD, is a social psychologist, certified personal coach, and the author of Modern Enlightenment: Psychological, Spiritual, and Practical Ideas for a Better Life.

This article has been updated and originally appeared as “All In the Family” in the November 2013 issue of Experience Life.

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