When Don Baiocchi was in his 20s, he suffered serious digestive issues accompanied by brain fog, fatigue, and weakness. A recipe developer, he decided to change up his diet and began following a low-fat protocol with lots of whole grains. But this brought no relief.

Then, when a friend mentioned she was going to give up gluten, he decided to try it too — and that changed nearly everything. “I felt a lot better,” he says. “About 90 percent of my digestion issues cleared up.”

Yet he found himself with a new problem: food anxiety.

Gluten-free options weren’t nearly as abundant then as now, so eating anywhere but his own kitchen was risky. Baiocchi could never trust the dishes he ordered in restaurants that appeared to be gluten-free. What if they used glutenous soy sauce unknowingly? What if something was wheat-free but not gluten-free?

The same went for dining at friends’ homes. Eating with others became a source of stress instead of a chance to relax and celebrate.

Many of us can relate. If we have food intolerances, we might feel anxious about food allergens. Maybe we’re preoccupied by the effects certain proteins like gluten and lectins could have on our long-term health. Caloric density is another common concern. Whatever is at the root of our worries, the result is the same: Our relationship with food has become fundamentally stressful and restrictive.

Food is emotional, and anxiety around it is common. But know this: You have options. Even if you need to restrict certain food groups for health reasons, a more relaxed relationship with food is possible.

The Roots of Food Anxiety

There are a host of reasons people develop food anxiety. Painful physical reactions to certain foods, as Baiocchi experienced, are one. Others, according to Maggie Ward, MS, RDN, LDN, nutrition director of The UltraWellness Center in Lenox, Mass., include diet culture, food allergies and intolerances, celiac disease, irritable bowel syndrome, irritable bowel disease, and patterns of disordered eating, like orthorexia. (A sibling to anorexia, orthorexia is a restrictive-eating pattern that stems from fears about food quality rather than quantity and caloric value.)

Ward calls food anxiety a “fear of food, which can include a drive to be perfect with one’s food choices.” It can also involve shame, isolation, and in the case of orthorexia and other restrictive-eating disorders, physical symptoms.

“A food-restricted body can start to shut down,” says psychologist and eating-disorder specialist Rachel Millner, PsyD. “People experience bone loss. People develop osteoporosis. Their blood pressure and heart rate can be lowered.”

Food anxiety can exist beneath our conscious awareness, as it did for Melissa Urban, cofounder of Whole30, and author of 10 books, including The Whole30’s Food Freedom Forever: Letting Go of Bad Habits, Guilt, and Anxiety Around Food.

In 2009, Urban felt she was in a good place with her habits and attitude toward food. She’d been through rehab for drug addiction and had become a gym regular as part of her recovery, even teaching CrossFit classes. She’d accepted that she had to eat every two hours — she would get hangry if she didn’t — and that she battled relentless cravings for sugar and carbs.

But during a monthlong nutritional challenge that included giving up grains, dairy, added sugar, and processed foods, Urban was surprised to discover that in her sobriety she had essentially replaced drugs with food. She was using sugar to numb and distract herself so she could avoid feeling her emotions.

“Without access to the carb-dense processed foods I had relied on, I was forced to find other ways to self-soothe, comfort myself, and relieve anxiety,” she writes.

That realization spurred her to dig deeper into the roots of emotional-eating patterns. She’s since made it a mission to help free people from their food anxiety — not just by changing their diets but by changing their thinking.

What Is Food Freedom?

Urban defines food freedom as “feeling empowered to make the food decisions that feel right for you in that moment.”

She emphasizes “in that moment” because true freedom means you’re free to choose based on a range of factors — nutritional, sure, but also social and emotional.

“This morning at breakfast, my husband ordered this croissant-waffle kind of combination, and it looked amazing, but I know how gluten impacts me,” Urban says. “It makes me bloated, it makes my skin break out, and I have book-tour events for the next three days. It was not worth it for me, so I declined. [And] at no point did I feel deprived.”

She has realized that she has the final say over her own food decisions. “I can always say yes. If I want to eat croissant waffles every single day of the week, I can do that.”

Food is social, cultural, familial. “It can be love and can be comfort and can be joy and can be bonding,” Urban says. That’s why she focuses on the importance of choice. Food freedom doesn’t mean eating everything willy-nilly, regardless of how it affects you. It means making choices based on your own sense of what you need.

How To Relax Your Food Vigilance

These strategies can help you regain confidence in eating while still honoring your body’s needs.

Learn about your symptoms.

Not knowing the origins of your digestive distress can lead to a feeling of helplessness and fear around food. By contrast, learning what’s behind your symptoms can reveal a world of choices you didn’t know you had.

Hilary Davidson, a journalist and novelist, suffered from gastrointestinal distress, painful mouth ulcers, migraine, and skin rashes from the age of 8; at one point she was taking five different medications for her symptoms. Finally, at 32, she was diagnosed with celiac disease.

Her diagnosis felt freeing, Davidson says. Once she understood what was causing her distress, she could take her health into her own hands. She quit gluten and no longer needed her prescription meds. She now helps other people with celiac disease, through her website and Substack newsletter, Gluten-Free Guidebook.

Davidson gets emails from readers who’ve just been diagnosed — or from their family members who are unsure how to proceed. “Sometimes people think the whole household will have to be gluten-free, or that they can’t go to restaurants unless the entire place is gluten-free.”

Fortunately, neither of those things is true. “I understand that people feel scared by the diagnosis,” she says. “It can make people feel [like] their world is smaller, instead of realizing now the information is in your hands to expand your world now. You have this one thing that you have to avoid and everything else is open to you.”

Keep a food journal.

Marc David, MA, founder of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating, suggests journaling and keeping a written inventory of your beliefs about food and diet. Write down everything that you believe is good and bad for you, he advises. Then go over that list and ask yourself if, at any point, you’re being extreme.

“Can I include some of these ‘bad’ foods in my diet — especially if I’m going to eat them anyway?” David says. Unless you’re restricting for specific health reasons, like an allergy or celiac disease, the answer could be yes, at least provisionally. This gives you one more dietary choice — and one fewer food item to feed your anxiety.

Journaling is also a great way to track your physical responses to certain foods. Baiocchi tried this and discovered that, while gluten is a hard no for him, dairy was sometimes OK. This offered him a whole class of foods — and a less restrictive diet.

Keeping this type of journal can help you make more conscious, informed decisions while building your confidence. Tracking your physical and emotional reactions to certain foods can train you to begin tuning in to your body.

Trust yourself.

Trusting yourself is key to feeling more relaxed around food. Millner, who works with people healing from eating disorders, says that “diet culture takes us away from any kind of trusting relationship with our body and makes it all about external choices.”

She points out that relying on external sources to help us decide what to eat can quickly morph into fear-based decision-making. “Diet culture makes us afraid of food because it tells us to fear weight gain,” she says. “Freedom happens when we stop making decisions about food based on a set of rules or a set of external mandates and are able to tune in to our body’s needs.”

David likens food anxiety to dissociation. When you’re feeling anxiety about food, he says, you’re not in your body — you’re only in your head. He suggests picturing your breath in your body, literally breathing into your upper body, your lower body, your feet. Take five or 10 slow, deep breaths before you start eating to ground yourself.

“The body is a very wise animal,” he notes. “We just have to start to listen to it more.”

Free food from morality.

Urban grew up with older aunts and cousins who measured their food choices in moral terms. “Every time we got together for coffee or a holiday it was, ‘This pie is going straight to my hips,’ or ‘I’m saving my calories for wine,’ or ‘She’s being so good — she’s not eating dessert today,’” she recalls.

Those experiences led Urban to moralize her own food choices. Learning to “uncouple morality from food” was a gradual process for her.

Today, she reports that she hasn’t felt guilty about or around food for many years. She also counsels people to change their moral approach to food. If someone says, “I feel so guilty I ate those chips,” she advises them to correct it with, “Excuse me, no I don’t feel guilty — I haven’t done anything wrong.” Consistently checking our thoughts and words for food-related value judgments can make a world of difference.

David concurs. “Food freedom is not about morality with food, with some foods being good and some foods being bad,” he says, adding that all-or-nothing thinking contributes to anxiety, so reducing it can help.

Slow down.

For many people, speed-eating is a sign of food anxiety. “When they eat, they eat fast, because they’re thinking food is the enemy,” David explains. “Whenever you encounter the enemy, you want to get it over with.”

When we eat quickly, the brain doesn’t have enough time to register the experience. “When the brain doesn’t experience taste, pleasure, aroma, satisfaction — what does it do?” asks David. “It says, I’m hungry. And you keep eating.”

Slowing down at mealtimes can be as simple as setting down your fork between bites or looking up and out the window for a moment. Pausing in this way can help activate the parasympathetic nervous system, turning on the relaxation response so your body enters the rest and digest phase.

“We’re seeking taste. We’re seeking satisfaction. That is the biological imperative,” says David. “You can only experience those when you’re relaxed.”

Reframe food as a friend.

When you’ve been thinking of food as your enemy, learning to see it as a friend won’t happen overnight. So David suggests focusing on one simple, neutral fact: Humans must eat. “Make peace with the fact that we are designed to seek food, to eat food, to enjoy food, and to need food for our biological survival.”

Gentleness is key to successful habit change, as well. When working with her clients, Millner doesn’t try to go right from an eating disorder to flexible and fluid eating. “There has to be a middle step,” she explains. “And, usually, that middle step is making sure that meals and snacks happen every day at certain times, that people are fully nourished.”

This might sound like rigid discipline, but structure can be its own kind of freedom, she says. “It’s coming from a place of healing and not a place of the eating disorder or the dieting mind.”

Ward sees a lot of people in her practice who suffer from food allergies and sensitivities. Even when a person has eliminated problem foods and begun to recover from symptoms, fear can linger.

Her goal is to help them rebuild their relationship with food, which involves learning to see food not as their enemy but as part of their medicine. “That’s really what we practice here,” she says. “Food as medicine.”

Urban takes it one step further, advising her readers to “keep your diet broad and joyful.” Even if you must avoid certain foods to maintain your health, you can still appreciate and enjoy the foods you can have, she notes. Eating in a joyful, sustainable, and satisfying way can be just as supportive as the foods you choose.

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Tomatoes, onions, bell peppers. It’s almost second nature for me to reach for these items at my local grocery store from one week to the next. These ingredients are safe and reliable: I know how they work in a variety of recipes, and I consider them mainstays in my kitchen.

This kind of grocery autopilot is fairly common, says dietitian Kelly Powers, MA, RDN. “Simply put, we’re creatures of habit, and new things can be overwhelming. On top of that, we often have little time to devote to planning, shopping, and cooking meals,” she explains. “It’s natural to fall back on things that work.”

And yet, diversifying your grocery list offers benefits that extend far beyond your kitchen. In Bread, Wine, Chocolate: The Slow Loss of Foods We Love, journalist and educator Simran Sethi writes about the effects of the dwindling diversity in our food supply.

“It’s what we face every time we shrink agrobiodiversity from thousands of varieties down to a handful. We stop growing it, we stop eating it and, slowly, it disappears,” she writes. “The loss of genetics is accompanied by the loss of knowledge on how to grow foods and how to prepare and eat them. It’s the cultural erosion that ­accompanies the genetic one: Our culinary traditions are going extinct, too.”

Beyond supporting biodiversity, mixing it up on your grocery run is also good for you. An ever-­growing body of research ties a thriving, diverse microbiome to overall health. “A varied diet provides the gut with a variety of nutrients, including prebiotics and probiotics, that shape its structure, composition, and function,” Powers notes.

In the kitchen, choosing new ingredients can ­expand your palate and may help you embrace the concept of riffing as you cook. In many cases, you can swap similar ingredients without affecting a recipe too much. In the process, you might discover some winning combinations.

“Just practice and have fun — that’s how you’ll improve,” Powers says. And that is where so much of the joy of cooking lies.

Brimming with vitamins A, C, and K, along with various additional nutrients and antioxidants, kale is a fixture on many weekly grocery lists. Its earthy, bitter flavor mellows with cooking, making it popular in stews, stir-fries, and soups, or when roasted until the leaves take on a hint of char.

Collard greens are kale’s cousin, a fellow brassica green with notably less bitterness and a hint of nutty flavor. The two also have a similar nutrient profile, though collards contain more iron.

Collards can take the place of kale in most recipes. “Blanch tough greens like kale or collards until they are tender, then squeeze them dry, chop them up, and sauté,” recommends chef Samin Nosrat in Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat: Mastering the Elements of Good Cooking.

Try them cooked in oil or butter, perhaps with bacon or a squeeze of lemon juice. With their milder flavor, collards are also a brilliant swap for spinach or kale in smoothies.

(Try this soulful side dish of Collard Greens With Ham or this hearty Collard Salad With Broccoli and Butternut Squash.)

Spuds are the most popular vegetable in the United States, and they contain a host of essential nutrients, including potassium and fiber (dor me, see “The Health Benefits of Eating Potatoes.”) But if you’re looking for a nonstarchy (or non-nightshade) option, look no further than the humble rutabaga.

Also called swedes, rutabagas are a flavorful root vegetable that can be used almost interchangeably with potatoes. They’re an excellent source of potassium and vitamin C, as well as calcium, folate, and vitamin E. And because they’re a member of the brassica family, rutabagas are a delicious alternative to potatoes for anyone with a nightshade sensitivity (learn more about nightshades here).

If you can’t bear the thought of replacing potatoes in your grocery basket, consider picking up a new variety. Instead of russets, try yellow or purple potatoes. The latter is notable for its gorgeous, vibrant blue-hued skin and flesh, caused by anthocyanins — the same anti-­inflammatory antioxidants found in blueberries and red grapes.

(Try this Healthy Root-Vegetable Gratin recipe to start.)

Carrots’ earthy sweetness lends itself to recipes both savory and sweet. Whether you prefer them glazed and roasted or stirred into a shepherd’s pie, carrots contain vitamin C and fiber as well as abundant amounts of beta-carotene, which our bodies convert to vitamin A.

Like carrots, beets possess a distinct sweetness that is enhanced through roasting and can balance savory or spicy ingredients. Beets get their vibrant color from anti-inflammatory pigments called betalains; red beets, with their vibrant color, contain the highest amount.

Shave them into salads, roast them, or try pickling your own with the recipe at Pickled Beets. The deeply red varieties can alter the color of your dish, so if that’s something you’d like to avoid, try gold or white cultivars.

(Explore the recipes and improve your beet know-how at “Beets: Recipes, Techniques, and More.”)

Dark turkey meat’s higher fat content gives it a deeper flavor than white turkey meat, making it a good swap for ground beef. It works well in many of the same dishes, especially chilies, stir-fries, and stews that are loaded with aromatic ingredients.

For a vegetarian option, reach for lentils or beans, or try crumbled tofu or tempeh. Mushrooms are also a great choice because they’re brilliant at bulking up hearty Bolognese sauces and casseroles, Powers notes. They boast an umami-rich flavor along with B vitamins and fiber. But consider them a vegetable, not a protein. Pairing mushrooms with a source of protein, like lentils, beans, tofu, or tempeh, she adds, is ideal for creating balanced meals. If your mushroom experience is limited to cremini and white button, it’s worth exploring the incredible diversity of edible mushrooms, like those in the recipes on at “4 Recipes That Will Change the Way You See Mushrooms.”

Like green beans, okra is an excellent source of vitamins A, C, and K. It’s also a rich source of folate, an essential B vitamin ­responsible for the formation of red blood cells and many other important processes in the body.

And it’s got another trick up its sleeve: “Okra is a finger-shaped vegetable that can be green or red and is mucilaginous when sliced and cooked,” writes Toni Tipton-Martin in Jubilee: Recipes From Two Centuries of African American Cooking. “Devotees love that slime; it thickens gumbo and gives the stew body.” It can do the same for other soups, stews, and braises.

The more you cut okra, the gooier it gets; the same is true for cooking it in liquid. That gel-like substance is quite good for you — it’s rich in soluble fiber, which is a crucial part of a healthy gut microbiome. If you want to cook okra without the slime, quick and hot is the way to go.

A great source of live probiotics, kefir is a fermented beverage typically made from milk and kefir grains — granules containing various gut-healthy bacteria and yeasts. “Kefir grains contain a whole microbial community in suspended animation, with over 10 times more microbe varieties than yogurt,” writes Tim Spector, MD, in Food for Life.

Some studies suggest that regular kefir consumption can improve overall lactose tolerance — but water, soy, and coconut kefirs are excellent dairy-free options.

When cooking, use unflavored kefir in the same way you would yogurt. “Both yogurt and kefir can be added to the end of dishes like curry to enrich a sauce and if not overheated will still have live microbes,” Spector writes.

Kefir is more liquid than yogurt, a texture that makes it perfect for sipping as a refreshing drink. Or you could replace your morning yogurt with a bowl of kefir paired with fiber-rich berries, seeds, and nuts.

(Make your own Coconut-Water Kefir with this recipe.)

This article originally appeared as “Mix It Up” in the March/April 2025 issue of Experience Life.

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Balancing macronutrients, or macros, is often a consideration for those contemplating a nutritional strategy to support their health goals, whether their objective is to gain strength, change body composition, increase energy, or simply eat healthier. The fuel you feed your body can have powerful effects.

General awareness of your macronutrient intake is important to ensure you’re nourishing your body appropriately, staying satiated, steadying your blood sugar, maximizing your metabolism, and maintaining your energy levels.

As of late, meal sequencing — or the eating of specific foods in specific orders — has amassed greater attention, particularly as it relates to the influence of macronutrients on blood sugar regulation or fat-loss goals.

But does the order in which you consume your macros really matter? Can eating protein before carbohydrates, for example, make a significant difference when you’re working toward a health goal?

Samantha McKinney, RD, CPT, national program manager for nutrition, metabolism, and weight loss at Life Time, offers her insights.

What are “Macros”?

Short for macronutrients, macros refer to the nutrients from food that provide your body with caloric energy — or, in essence, fuel. There are three main macronutrients: proteins, fats, and carbohydrates (alcohol can be thought of as a fourth macronutrient, but it’s not considered a “main” one).  Proteins and carbohydrates each provide four calories per gram, while fats deliver nine calories per gram.

“When talking about macros, most people are either referring to the percent breakdown of their total calorie intake that comes from each of the three main categories or the number of grams of each of those nutrients they are aiming to consume in a day,” says McKinney.

Macronutrients are distinct from micronutrients. “Micronutrients are vitamins and minerals critical for health but that do not directly provide calories,” McKinney adds. “It might be easy to think of macronutrients as fuel and micronutrients as ‘engine parts’ — you need both to function well.” (Learn more: “What Are Macros and Calories?”)

Finding Your Ideal Macro Balance Per Meal

Each macronutrient plays a specific role in providing energy, supporting metabolic function, and contributing to overall health. When you’re determining the balance of proteins, fats, and carbs that suits you, McKinney advises mapping out your protein intake first.

As a general target for most healthy people, she recommends aiming for one gram of protein per pound of your ideal body weight per day; depending on overall intake, this often equates to about 30 to 40 percent of your daily calories. For many people, consuming at least 30 grams of protein at each meal is a beneficial, and often easier, target. (This resource can help you understand what that looks like in food form: “Here’s What 30 Grams of Protein Looks Like.”)

Fats and carbohydrates can then round out the rest of the meal. The ideal amounts of these macronutrients depends on factors like muscle mass, activity level, and metabolism, which varies from person to person.

“Some people feel better on a high-fat, low-carb diet, while others do well on a low-fat, high-carb diet,” McKinney says. “Assuming your protein intake is relatively constant, it’s important that as your fat or carb intake increases, the other decreases accordingly to appropriately balance your caloric intake. A relatively equal balance between the carbs and fats can also work. It’s truly about finding what feels best for you.” (Learn more: “A Beginner’s Guide to Macros.”)

Don’t Overthink the Order in Which You Eat

When it’s reasonable to do so, it’s best for most people to eat their protein-rich foods first, advises McKinney. “Protein increases satiety and dampens cravings, so prioritizing the protein on your plate before anything else can help refined carbohydrates and sugary indulgences seem less tempting.”

Protein is also crucial for balancing blood sugar. Research shows that high-protein and high-fiber meals can keep your energy and blood-sugar levels stable and help you avoid that “crash” you may experience after a high-carb meal. (McKinney recommends that at least one-third of your plate be filled with lean protein and half with nonstarchy vegetables to help maintain healthy blood-sugar levels.)

That being said, if your plate is composed of a thoughtful balance of healthy ingredients, consuming them in a specific order is not as important for warding off temptations. It’s also impossible to fully control the sequence of how you eat your macronutrients, since foods usually provide more than one.

For example, although usually dominant in protein, meat is a combination of protein and fat. Nuts  — despite usually considered a fat source — are a combination of fat, protein, and carbohydrate. Vegetables can contain both carbs and protein.

Furthermore, McKinney points out that many of our meals contain a combination of foods and macronutrients (think an egg bake or chili, for example), making eating in a specific sequence impossible.

“Remember, eating should be enjoyable,” she says. “Sequencing macros in a certain order can overcomplicate things at times, and can even lead to obsessive eating behaviors. Eating should nourish both the body and the soul. Don’t stress too much over the order of consumption — focus instead on savoring each bite of your balanced meal, chewing well, and not multi-tasking when you eat.”

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