Don’t Settle

1461801127521[1]Today, the process of divorce is over, and I’m nearly 2 weeks single.  Looking back on my marriage, I think about all the things I agreed to that fell short of what I wanted….way short.   I can’t help but think that maybe all of the things I settled for, even back to the days my ex-husband and I were dating, ended up being the very things that contributed to the end of my marriage.  Before we got married, whenever I learned something about my ex-husband that I didn’t like or didn’t want in a partner, I said, ‘well it’ll be OK…that could change later’.  DO…NOT…DO…THAT.  Please do not do what I did.  What I should have done was take him at face value.  In the words of the great Maya Angelou, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.”  And if that does not line up with the traits that you want in a partner, do not be afraid to part ways as friends.  Move on.  You deserve the very best.  Don’t settle for less than that.  I see now that part of the reason why I stayed with my ex for as long as I did was because I was scared that I would always be alone.  Ever heard the phrase ‘I can do bad all by myself’?  Don’t be so afraid to be alone that you settle for whatever you can get.  The very best complement to you is looking for you if he or she hasn’t already found you.  You deserve exactly what you want in a partner.  Don’t settle for less than you deserve.