Don’t Settle

1461801127521[1]Today, the process of divorce is over, and I’m nearly 2 weeks single.  Looking back on my marriage, I think about all the things I agreed to that fell short of what I wanted….way short.   I can’t help but think that maybe all of the things I settled for, even back to the days my ex-husband and I were dating, ended up being the very things that contributed to the end of my marriage.  Before we got married, whenever I learned something about my ex-husband that I didn’t like or didn’t want in a partner, I said, ‘well it’ll be OK…that could change later’.  DO…NOT…DO…THAT.  Please do not do what I did.  What I should have done was take him at face value.  In the words of the great Maya Continue reading “Don’t Settle”

Stand up for Yourself!

1461193799374[1]One of the main things that stand out for me when I think back about my marriage is how much I let my ex-husband and my former in-laws say and do whatever they wanted.  I hated confrontation, and I wouldn’t say anything because I didn’t want to upset anyone or cause any tension to this new family I had.   It wasn’t until I was going through my divorce that it really sunk in that I needed to defend myself.  I struggled with this throughout my marriage, because I asked my ex-husband to defend me.  I believed that it was his job to do, and I still believe that a husband is supposed to do this for his wife.  But this wasn’t something he was able to for me.  So, as I was faced with more Continue reading “Stand up for Yourself!”

Keep Your Standards High

1460753652854[1]Another tip that I’ve learned is that the things that I value, and the traits that are important to me should be kept as just that – important to me. Whatever you value when you’re single should not be let go just because you’re in a new relationship. The person you are with should complement you and your standards, and you should be a complement to them as well. Don’t lower your values to satisfy the person you are with. What you value is important, and part of what makes you who you are. Don’t think that your standards are set too high, and the only way to be with someone is by lowering them, because by doing that, you are changing a beautiful part of who you are in order to please someone Continue reading “Keep Your Standards High”

No Worries

1460080104349[1]Growing up, I found it very easy to get caught up in what people were saying, and what they thought about me. Kids naturally want to fit in and be accepted. But when I got older, I saw myself still doing the same thing….wanting to be accepted. Caring more about what other people thought of me than what I thought of myself. It wasn’t until I was going through my divorce that I learned about ME. That I got comfortable in my own skin and I realized – don’t worry about what other people think about you. The better thing to focus on is what do you think about yourself? People don’t have a heaven or a hell to put you in, and at the end of the day, you are always going home with you. So, like yourself. Better yet, Continue reading “No Worries”