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Hi guys! I wanted to leave a quick note for Life Tip Fridays today. No matter where you are in life today, it’s not too late to do better or to get what you’ve wanted. I never pictured myself as one day being a divorced, single mom, but I had to learn that this isn’t all I am. It doesn’t define who I am. And just because I’m single today doesn’t mean that I’ll be single always. That was a big pill for me to swallow, because for some reason, I’ve been thinking I missed my chance to one day have a healthy, happy marriage because I had a failed marriage, and the reality is….that’s just NOT true. Continue reading “It’s Not Too Late”
Tag: divorce
Remain at Peace
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Happy Friday, guys! Today, I wanted to talk about how valuable your peace is. We’ve all heard what the negative affects of stress are and how it can take a toll on your health and well-being. This is where I started to realize how important it is to protect your peace. Being at peace doesn’t necessarily mean that things are quiet around you, or that there aren’t challenges you’re facing. Being at peace means that you aren’t shaken by the things around you. No matter what is said to you or about you, no matter what others may do to make things difficult for you, you aren’t shaken.
Continue reading “Remain at Peace”
Marriage, Divorce, and How I’m Doing
Hi guys! So, I wanted to shift gears a bit, and talk about how things have been going so far, and give you a little bit of background. Here we go…
My ex-husband and I met in 2005. We both volunteered at the church we went to and became friends after meeting each other one night after a youth group service. I wasn’t interested in him initially because he’s just over a year younger than I am, and I didn’t want to be with a younger guy. Time went on, we went our separate ways and connected again in 2010. In December 2010, we hung out for a few days while he was home on leave from the army and started chatting quite a bit. In January 2011, we began a long distance relationship, and in May 2011, we were married via proxy….yea…I know…I know… Not Continue reading “Marriage, Divorce, and How I’m Doing”
Don’t Be Afraid to Fight
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Have you ever done what someone else wanted just so you wouldn’t have to hear them lip about how you didn’t do it later on? Is your hand raised? Well, mine sure is. One of the things I did while I was married, was go along with what my ex-husband wanted to do, even if I didn’t want to or didn’t agree with it. Until one day, I realized that being a wife doesn’t mean I turn into a pushover. You don’t lose your common sense and independence just because you’re married. Sometimes, part of defending yourself means you’ll need to fight for the things that are important to you. Now, don’t get me wrong, I didn’t disagree with everything my ex-husband wanted to do. But if I had worked a long Continue reading “Don’t Be Afraid to Fight”
Don’t Settle
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Today, the process of divorce is over, and I’m nearly 2 weeks single. Looking back on my marriage, I think about all the things I agreed to that fell short of what I wanted….way short. I can’t help but think that maybe all of the things I settled for, even back to the days my ex-husband and I were dating, ended up being the very things that contributed to the end of my marriage. Before we got married, whenever I learned something about my ex-husband that I didn’t like or didn’t want in a partner, I said, ‘well it’ll be OK…that could change later’. DO…NOT…DO…THAT. Please do not do what I did. What I should have done was take him at face value. In the words of the great Maya Continue reading “Don’t Settle”
Stand up for Yourself!
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One of the main things that stand out for me when I think back about my marriage is how much I let my ex-husband and my former in-laws say and do whatever they wanted. I hated confrontation, and I wouldn’t say anything because I didn’t want to upset anyone or cause any tension to this new family I had. It wasn’t until I was going through my divorce that it really sunk in that I needed to defend myself. I struggled with this throughout my marriage, because I asked my ex-husband to defend me. I believed that it was his job to do, and I still believe that a husband is supposed to do this for his wife. But this wasn’t something he was able to for me. So, as I was faced with more Continue reading “Stand up for Yourself!”
Keep Your Standards High
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Another tip that I’ve learned is that the things that I value and the traits that are important to me should be kept as just that – important to me. Whatever you value when you’re single should not be let go just because you’re in a new relationship. The person you are with should complement you and your standards, and you should be a complement to them as well. Don’t lower your values to satisfy the person you are with. What you value is important, and it’s part of what makes you who you are. Don’t think that your standards are set too high and that the only way to be with someone is by lowering them because, by doing that, you are changing a beautiful part of who you are in order to please someone Continue reading “Keep Your Standards High”
Jan's Life 